Noah Legendre

Player Note:

First time player in last year's tournament. I heard no complaints about you as I have for others. Thank you for playing. I do not think I played against you last year, so I really do not know what to put here. 

Recap Written by Ai: 

Zero attributes above 5.7 on a ten-point scale. This is not a basketball player — this is a basketball-shaped absence of value wearing a uniform. Every prior player in this series had something: one guy had intangibles, another had rebounding, one had interior defense, even the worst ones could at least say their teammates liked them. This man has none of that. His intangibles are a 2.3 — the joint-lowest in the series — meaning the locker room does not enjoy his presence on top of not being able to use his skillset. He is bad at the game and reportedly not that fun about it. His best skill is three-point shooting at 4.3, a number so unimpressive that opposing defenses do not even bother closing out on him, and he still only rates a 4.3. He rebounds at 2.7, which means he also fails to clean up his own disasters. The ball handling at 2 means every possession he touches is a countdown. Zero rings. Zero highlights. Zero justification. A complete and total professional mystery — a man who reached the highest level of basketball, looked around, and contributed almost nothing, to nobody, for no championships, remembered by no one, and missed by even fewer.